Dead bat! I mean... um... something else!

So I saw a dead bat for the first time today. On the side of the road.

What a note on which to start my first blog entry in a long time...


SO!
As many of you already know, I have been working in Toronto for the past month, programming and designing graphics and the like. So far I have not succeeded in mastering space and time, just posting dinosaur comics around the office walls.

I've also been having a lot of ideas for my website which you may have noticed. I've added a "slightly orange account", which is not too different from the user profile for the forum, aside from the fact that the template has changed and it will soon extend to allow for posting comments on the animations. Also I've added a section for listening to some of my music, and I'll get that up and running soon.

OH!

and I'm reading a most excellent book! For those of you wanting to learn more about Christ or to deepen your faith, totally go pick up "Life of Christ" by Bishop Fulton J. Sheen. What a brilliant man, he totally just opens up the scriptures. Quite marvellous.

Way to go, Adam and Eve

Today is Ash Wednesday. It's a time where we recall the fall of man... the time when Adam and Eve decided to pluck the forbidden fruit from the tree, eat of it, and usher sin upon the world. Good work you two. Well done. From dust to dust: we were made from dust, and because of that sin, we return to dust, unless we enter into the resurrection of Christ and are born into the life of the New Adam (Jesus).

So I got to thinking... to all you vegetarians out there who think that eating animals is wrong, if only Adam and Eve had just feasted upon suckling pig instead, then they would have never got into this mess! I mean come on! Delicious roasted pig, mmmmmmm tasty. But no, let's go eat of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. That sounds like a larf.

The previous is simply a farce, and should not be taken seriously or literally. I love vegetarians, even though I think they'd be a lot happier with a big steak on their plate, but please don't try to read this post as theological, except for maybe the first paragraph. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Those who cannot read this clause should get glasses or copy and paste this text into an editor and increase the size. If that's what you did, then kudos to you.

Unexpected Suffering

It's been a long time since I've posted. I sort of forgot about this blog, got busy with exams, got busy with life in general. Oh well, it's not like this blog is a necessary aspect of my life.

So, I just wanted to share a little of what's been happening with me, by sending it out into the vast void of the internet where it may or may not be read by anyone. I feel as though the closer I come to joining a religious community, that the further from God I become. I never imagined things to become confusing in this sort of a manner, and has resulted in a rather unexpected suffering. I suppose the more I try to give my life to God, it is as though I have grown far further from ever achieving this. My whole being rebels against me, and the interior battles have turned me towards some level of hopelessness, which is bizarre, because hopelessness is not really my style, and it's not something I thought I'd ever feel compelled towards. Yet here I am, experiencing it to some degree, despite knowing full well intellectually that my feelings are not grounded in truth. Feelings are a funny thing... I didn't imagine such peculiar battles of emotion/disposition versus intellect.

So what am I saying? Well, mostly I feel like a giant hypocrite... I know many of the things I OUGHT to be doing, yet it at the very least feels like I am not following at all what I ought to be. I don't know what to make of this, as I'm having trouble reconciling how I simply feel and how things actually are, so I am in the dark on the subject. And I know... I know that the devil is behind this and is trying to destroy me, but the difficulty is I can't really see whether he is succeeding or not, making it very hard for me to know how to fight him.

So yeah, essentially I'm just in some sort of a mess, and I feel so unworthy to give advice to others because I always feel at the same time that I'm saying, "here's what you should do... I'm not doing it, and I feel hopeless in my ability to succeed, but you go do what I'm not doing and what I ought to do". I hope that in this time I do not disillusion anyone else, or pull someone else away from God because of my mess. It's hard not knowing what's going on.

Prayers please?

True Devotion

I'm so very excited in many ways to have returned to school. I was in a bit of a rough spot there for a while, and I'm very thankful for others, because I find myself to be rather destructive when I'm going solo.

The good news is, I'm back into the swing of things and I'm hunting for a job again. Also, I'm glad to be back together with the bible study group at King's, and I've actually decided to start a new group that will study more Marian doctrine since our bible study is protestant, and, quite frankly, I really want to delve into the good stuff and not pussyfoot around on all this "halfway there" theology. (No offense to protestants, I love you guys, but there's just such a wealth of knowledge in the Catholic Church and I'm mighty hungry!)

So our new group (which I definitely won't put in conflict with the previous bible study) will essentially be reading over St. Louis de Montfort's book, "True Devotion", which explains how to have a rightly ordered and wholly good devotion to Mary, and consequently, to Christ as well. It's fantastic and I can't wait to go over it with my friends because it'll bring us closer together, bring us all closer to Mary and thus closer to Christ, and it will keep me out of trouble and force me to do something active and useful outside of class.

I also find it neat because this will be the first thing I've ever completely organized and run by myself and instigated by myself (well, inspired by the Holy Spirit of course, I just mean there was no one else pushing for it or trying to convince me to do it). So this'll be a learning experience for me too.

And um... why might you all care about this random piece of my life? I really don't know... I'm just excited and writing about it... you're the one reading it!

Trinity - Family

I got into a bit of a debate lately with people who don't actually debate, but ignore the previously discussed information and continue to declare their correctness in the matter. Kind of like children saying, "nuh-uh!" and feeling satisfied that this is proof enough.

So I thought I'd share with you all a little bit about the Trinity, because I've been reading up more about it lately, and well, it's just so cool!!!

Okay, so God is three persons, but one God, right? What do these terms mean? A person is the individual substance (essence) of a rational nature. Okay well actually that's a bit of an insufficient explanation because it breaks down in some fundamental ways (I still need to learn more) But it'll do for now, since I'm speaking very simply. A human, for example, happens to be a type of being that is a person.
What is a being? Well anything that exists as a whole, essentially. A human, for instance, is a being, a dog is a being, a rock is a being, etc...

God is also a being. But has 3 persons. If it sounds like this makes no sense, consider that we know of beings that have no persons, such as a rock, and a being that has one person, such as people, and so we know beings and persons are not synonymous.

Furthermore, the Trinity (God) is a family, in and of Himself. This is how it can be that God is love itself. Think about it... how can God be love, unless He has someone to love? Because we surely didn't always exist, and so if God created us out of love, He could not have created us so that He MAY love, because that would make Him dependent on our existence for His essence.
So God is, in the 3 persons, the Lover, the Beloved, and the Fruit of that love. (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). That's why we are created in God's image! When we come together as a family, the parents are the lover and beloved, and the two become "ONE FLESH" (see Genesis 2:24, echoed also in Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31, etc..) from which is produced a new life that came from the love of the couple—the child also physically made up partially of the parents. So the three, in the family, are reflecting one being, yet they are 3 persons!!! Doesn't that set your heart on fire???

...oh, and also, for those of you who may be at all like my so-called "debators", God does NOT have a sexual relationship with Himself. I thought it was a given that our families are a REFLECTION of God, but not a replication. *cough cough*

What have YOU been up to all year?

Well I can't believe it... thus far I've spent the majority of the year 2007 driving to pick up pizza and writing in my blog! And in 2007 they put bacon STRIPS on the Hawaiian pizza! What's going on? 2007 is a creepy year thus far!

Mastering Space & Time... 2nd Trial

It's that time of year again! It's Steve's New Year's party where we're totally going to attempt to master both time and space. We were fairly successful in our previous attempt, but I gotta say, to all of you who keep backing out from my party, you're missing out on some seriously monumental stuff.

Ha ha... ah yes. So if any of you out there are thinking how awesome it would be to come party down in Steve's parent's abode, just give me a call or an email and you're more than welcome to join us. Good times most seriously will be had. We even might break out into a mad round of haikus! Woah woah, okay I don't want to spoil it!

So, those of you coming to Mass with us, be at Immaculate Conception Parish by 5pm for the New Year's Eve (Feast of Mary, Mother of God) Mass (what better way to kick things off?) And we'll be back at my place at about 6:30... so for those of you coming after Mass, please have eaten beforehand. That would spare me the need to get food for all.. but for those of you coming to Mass, we'll work out some sort of dinner thing.

remember... GOOD TIMES!?